Finally, the announcement I've been waiting for. This year's Republican primary is an insane mix of the absurd, the evil, and the wishful thinkers. I'll leave it to you to decide which category former New York Governor George Pataki belongs in.
He launched his campaign Thursday morning with a four-minute campaign video, where he says "it is time to stand up, protect our freedom and take back this country."
There they go again, with that "take back this country" crap.
"If we are to flourish as a people, we have to fall in love with America again," he says in the video, which features images of the Freedom Tower and the 9/11 memorial in New York City.
Forgive me if I'm not feeling the love here.
"They say we are against the middle class. This too is nonsense," he said. "Unless by middle class, they mean someone who left the White House 'dead broke,' and 10 years later had $100 Million. Unless by middle class they mean someone who charges a poor country $500,000 for a half-hour speech. That's their party's candidate. She speaks for the middle class? They are the party of privilege; we are the party of the middle class."
They really hate it when a Democrat makes some money, don't they?
"They say we, are anti-immigrant," he said. "We, the proud children, grandchildren, and descendants of immigrants, know that immigration has and will continue to enhance the greatness of this country."
George, honey, you can hang it up right here. Don't you know today's Republican Party has dismantled the Statue of Liberty? At least, what she stands for.
"I'd repeal oppressive laws like Obamacare and end Common Core," he said without noting that ending Common Core will be difficult since the education standards are adopted by the states.
"And I'd shrink the size of the federal work force, starting with bureaucrats overseeing Obamacare, and fire every corrupt IRS employee abusing government power to discriminate on the basis of politics or religion," he added.
Yes, we're so oppressed by having access to healthcare. Just this week my husband was able to be seen at the urgent care center for an infected cut on his arm that looked frighteningly bad. We feel terribly oppressed by that.
His personal website, which sports a new "Pataki for President" banner, emphasizes that he'll place "people over politics."
Corporations are people, too, my friends.