April 29, 2016

The older generation has always harbored feelings that there's something wrong with 'these kids today.' One Texas Millennial figured there's no better way to impress the Fox 'News' brass than to reaffirm the gripes of the elders while looking the part of a typical female anchor at the 'news' network.

Alexis Bloomer is shocked, she says, shocked, that her Facebook rant has gone viral. She claims that she only wanted to express her appreciation for the older generation and urge her contemporaries to shape up and show some respect too.

The rivalry between generations stems from the idea that younger people are nothing more than a bunch of slackers and this has existed for many centuries.

Accusations of laziness and narcissism in “kids these days” are nothing new — they’ve been levied against Generation X, Baby Boomers and many generations before them. Even Aristotle and Plato were said to have expressed similar feelings about the slacker youth of their times.

There is ample evidence that young people today are hard-working and productive. The share of college students working full time generally grew from 1985 onward — until the Great Recession knocked many millennials out of the labor force, according to the Labor Department.

The young Texas 'journalist' recorded her clichè-laden rant and posted it to Facebook. It is filled with attention-seeking language that enlivens the typical Fox and Friends viewer, earning kudos from Ainsley Earhardt, the token blonde hostess of Fox's morning program.

Bloomer's monologue was clearly crafted to enthrall older Republicans by denigrating her own generation. She was inspired to record her message after witnessing two boys breeze past an elderly man with a limp at a post office, failing to hold the door for him. She feels that those rambunctious boys represent her whole generation and their lack of manners inspired her to publicly sell out her own generation.

BLOOMER: 'We're stepping on our flag instead of stepping up to volunteer. We idolize people like Kim Kardashian and we shame people like Tim Tebow. (we do?) We're lazy. We're really entitled. And we want to make a lot of money and have free education but we're not really willing to put in the work. We're more divided as a country than ever before.

Many saw this rant for what it is: brownnosing. Bloomer conveniently espouses the stereotype that today's music is part of the problem.

“We listen to really obscene music that degrades women and pretty much glorifies drugs and crime.”

She makes a great point for someone who was locked in a conservative bubble and never heard music prior to the 90s. It’s not like the classic rock that boomers loved so much ever referenced any criminal or lascivious behavior. “Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll” was all a myth, right? Does she think all music before us was the equivalent of a Barney singalong?

Bloomer believes that she has the right to criticize others her age because she's uniquely virtuous. Earhardt says that she is so proud of Alexis for making this video, which has been seen over 40 million times, because it's a 'positive message' that kids need to hear.

What's worse than her obvious pandering is the possibility that she actually believes what she is saying. That's what drives us sentient beings mad when it comes to understanding the mindset of Republicans. Do they really believe the fiction they purport to believe?

Let's be honest. Bloomer shows the younger generation how to pander to those in positions of power, and it pays dividends. The young Texas woman tears at Ainsley's heart strings with obsequious phrases like, 'I'm going to lead by example,' and 'I'm going to practice what my parents taught me, kindness and respect.' She concludes the interview with an offer to help Bloomer out professionally.

EARHARDT: God bless you! Anything I can do to help your career, you let me know. Get my phone number from the producers.

BLOOMER: Thank you so much!

EARHARDT: You're welcome!

If you have the stomach, you can listen to her rear-end smooching soliloquy.

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