Kids, Take Off Your Clothes, Put On This Magic Underwear
Credit: Shutterstock
June 14, 2016

I found it appalling that Willard Romney took it upon himself to baptise his father-in-law, posthumously. Ann's dad was an atheist, so this was obviously something he would not have agreed to when he was alive.

But it's common for Mormons, especially missionaries, to seek new converts. Baptisms are the coveted measure of success. That's why this story isn't all that surprising, it's just rare that it makes the news for us 'outsiders.' Four Mormon missionaries raised eyebrows when they attempted to baptize three young brothers in Anáhuac in the province of Chihuahua, Mexico.

The four young men, all from other states in Mexico, allegedly had planned on baptizing three brothers — a 9-year-old and two 11-year-olds — without parental permission Thursday night, said Commander César Estrada Ruiz with the Policía Seccional de Anáhuac.Their father told police the missionaries promised the boys food to persuade them to go to a church, where they asked the boys to change into baptismal clothing. The boys became afraid, left the area and told their parents what had happened.

Their father was upset and contacted police, who took the missionaries into custody. The four men were released in a matter of hours because they committed no crime.

The LDS church/cult is looking for converts, aka 'tithers,' to plump up their coffers.
The Mormon Church is, after all, a Fortune 500 corporation that built and occupies the second tallest building (only by a few feet to the Wells Fargo Center) in downtown Salt Lake City.

If the LDS Church were a U.S. corporation, by revenues it would rank number 243 on the Fortune 500 list. It seems as the First World becomes more irreligious, the less wealthy Southern Hemisphere sees a flood of missionaries who enjoy more success in countries with lower levels of academic achievement and per capita incomes.

This story becomes a bit more unsettling when you revisit the tactics the missionaries used to lure the brothers to the Mormon compound. They used food and sweets to get them to go to the church. 'Pssst, hey kids, are you hungry?' Yikes! That would raise a lot of red flags in general.

Adding a touch more creepiness, the baptismal 'garments' are white and delightsome, and those are much like the magic underwear a couple must always have on to remain pure and chaste. I'd say most parents would be pretty unnerved if someone tried to change their child's clothes without permission.

Their motives might have been innocuous, but these unfortunate missionaries are doing the recruiting for the brass up in Salt Lake City, getting more sign-ups for the afterlife salvation insurance plan. It is easily interpreted as a giant ponzi scheme. In fact, the lifetime obligation to tithe might be viewed thusly: You don't see how you can afford to pay 10% of your income to the church? You choose to distrust god’s promise to bless you for obedience?

The LDS Church/Cult gives you the freedom to choose to be an obedient Mormon or suffer for all eternity for not following the whims of the LDS hierarchy, which can change for reasons as simple as revocation of tax-exempt status. This actually happened when they saw the light in 1978 about Blacks holding the priesthood. Magic!

Can you help us out?

For 18 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.