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Tucker Carlson Takes Time For Segment About Sex-Crazed Giant Pandas

On not such a slow news day, Tucker Carlson brought us this.
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On a day that saw a sitting president's lawyer raided by the FBI, journalist extraordinaire Tucker Carlson wanted to talk about Panda sex.

Yeah, really.

Source: The Cut

Today wasn’t exactly the slowest of news days: A sitting senator gave birth while in office for the first time ever, the Bill Cosby retrial started, and FBI agents raided the home and office of Donald Trump’s personal lawyer. But Fox News host Tucker Carlson didn’t want to get into any of those boring stories. Instead, he wanted to expose pandas for what they really are: horny.

“Pandas are sex-crazed and aggressive,” reads the lower third headline on Monday night’s episode of Tucker Carlson Tonight, which featured video footage of a panda who did not appear to be sexually aroused. Inspired by the recent Wall Street Journal story, “The Uncuddly Truth About Pandas,” Carlson was eager to disprove all the #fakenews about the bears.

“You know the official story about pandas — they’re cute, they’re adorably helpless, which is why they’re almost extinct,” he started off. “But like a lot of what we hear, that’s a lie. The real panda is a secret stud with a taste for flesh and a fearsome bite.”

The Internet reacted as the Internet is wont to do in such cases.


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