Now that Alex Jones is predicting a Second Civil War started by Democrats on July 4 (here's the tweet -- we're not embedding it) Twitter has responded in two ways:
1. Figuring out what to bring/wear to the barbeque
REMINDER: We are carpooling to the civil war tomorrow. NO SINGLE DRIVERS. Honestly, if we can't wage war AND conserve energy, who even are we.
Oh, and Sandy can't bring brownies, someone else will have to step up. NO NUTS, please. https://t.co/UwKymYXiXs
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 3, 2018
— Naomi Andrews (@NayOhMe_Andrews) July 2, 2018
My tank-BBQ is fired up and at the ready. Watching for those RW trespassers that may head up the driveway so I can flip some burgers at 'em. pic.twitter.com/t8OP3XC3sJ
— BeauJest 🌊 🇺🇸 (@BeauJest1) July 2, 2018
So we got the food taken care of--NO raisins in the potato salad. Weapons to be sparklers, bbq skewers, & flyswatters. Rendezvous at BowlingGreenMassacre site. Now. What are the uniforms again? https://t.co/BgsvGEmz23
— Lee in Iowa (@Lee_in_Iowa) July 3, 2018
Auntie will personally be leading the brigade on the taking of the Jack Daniels distillery on the 4th during the Democrat Civil War.
Somebody has to do it! The sacrifices I make for y'all.
— 🖕🏻Aunt Crabby calls Bullshit 🖕🏻 (@DearAuntCrabby) July 3, 2018
Napkins for the potluck. This is a CIVIL war after all.
— Nadine Randle (@AlnasCreations) July 3, 2018
2. Writing Ken Jones "The Civil War" style letters under the hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters:
We survived bowling green. We've melted the remaining metal from participation trophies. The enemy comes head on in white polos and khakis chanting "Covefe"? But our pride body glitter seems to be an effective deterrent.
PS send potato salad
— Jama Owens Brown 🌹🏳️🌈 ✊🏿 (@JamaKBrown) July 3, 2018
"Captured at Bowling Green. In tolerably good health. Avocado hardtack rations meager and chicory covfefe drunk cold to avoid microwave surveillance. Capt. Kardashian to negotiate prisoner exchange."#secondcivilwarletters
— Kathy Olson (@Kathy_Olson) July 3, 2018
Our unit came upon a burned kek camp. Only later did we learn they had set themselves aflame with gasoline and fireworks. Somehow, this was to "own the libs".
I do not understand war.↓ Story continues below ↓
— David Emery (@PleasantLiar) July 3, 2018
Have you been receiving my paychecks from Soros? HQ assured me that you'd get them in the mail, provided USPS remains a public service.
Alas, I cannot tell you of my top secret deep state missions. Suffice to say that spray tan will be scarce.#secondcivilwarletters
— Melania's Belts (@MelaniasBelts) July 3, 2018
My dearest Mother,
Good news from the front! We’ve secured every Starbucks and Costco in the nation. I enjoy a mocha frapp as I write. For good measure we also took KFC and Taco Bell intending to starve Old Scratch himself out of our beloved White House. #secondcivilwarletters
— Jabbernaut (@Jabbernaut2) July 3, 2018