August 2, 2018

With the news that Paul Ryan has some Jewish blood in him, according to DNA analysis, Stephen Colbert kindly offered to circumcise the lame duck Speaker on live television as price of admission to the Jewish faith.

Source: The Week

House Speaker Paul Ryan took a DNA test for the PBS show Finding Your Roots With Henry Louis Gates Jr., and on Wednesday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert said he "assumed the most shocking they'd find is that Ryan's great grandparents were Eddie Munster and Grover. But, it turns out, they found something way more unexpected: Surprise! Paul Ryan's slightly Jewish." Colbert had mixed feelings. "Haven't the Jewish people suffered enough?" he asked. "The Anti-Defamation League has already responded, saying: 'What?! Run the tests again!'"

Colbert had "one burning question" for Ryan, and it involves circumcision, "the price of admission" to the Jewish faith. And he had an offer that Ryan is sure to refuse: "Think of it this way, Paul: The foreskin is only 1 percent of the penis — and we know how much you love cuts for the 1 percent."

A tweet from Ryan yesterday got well-deserved scorn.

Some of "his people" were not amused.

Hebrew for "Quiet, please."

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