A Trump-Era Morality Tale
August 28, 2018

Res ipsa loquitur is a legal term, meaning “the thing speaks for itself.” It’s a complicated legal principle but it basically means, “I don’t need to offer any further proof because – ta da! – there it is.”

Our friend Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen just sent me a story about res ipsa loquitur happening right here in America. And it is perhaps the best written story of the year.

Donald Trump’s official “independent ethics advisor” is a guy named Bobby Burchfield. Bobby’s wife Teresa, who is 53 years old, got caught earlier this year making the ooh la la in a parking lot with a 23-year-old inmate at the county jail. It all sounds very tawdry until I tell you that they made those sparks in the backseat of her Maserati, which gives it an undeniable touch of class.

It seems that she would bring him cigarettes and he would bring her. That’s all – just bring her.

Yesterday, she entered a plea of no contest to the charges and paid the $2,500 fine, which is about the same she spends for lunch.

And when it’s all said and done, the straying spouse pleads out of all the crimes and walks away with a fine that amounts to pocket change and the inmate who thought they would get something out of this deal returns to jail with nothing but a couple cigarettes and cougar scratches.

And then comes a piece of word smithing so very fine …

When this chapter of American history draws to a close, this is where the GOP will find itself. Staring at an empty house and broken reputations while Trump skips into the sunset having trashed the office they gifted him and the MAGA hats will go right back to living hardscrabble lives and wondering why they never got anything out of this deal but 5 or 6 fleeting moments of excitement as they served as blowup dolls for the old rich people on the other end.

And that’s the truth.

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