September 10, 2018

Ted Cruz, dammit, now says that Beto O’Rourke is a California boy.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) told a rally crowd in Humble, Texas that his opponent would turn Texas into California by bringing “tofu, silicon and dyed hair,” according to a Reuters reporter.

First of all, Ted didn’t tell them that he hisownself wants to get rid Texas of What-a-Burger, playing in a band, and cussin’. I did not know that Texans were that dainty. Hell, this is Texas, where Willie Nelson sings, Whataburger came in second for the state symbol, and the ladies can cuss until your ears bleed.

Okay, let’s talk about tofu, silicon, and dyed hair. Honey, I think he’s talking about the First family.

And surely Ted wouldn’t dye his hair or fix his comb over. Here’s a guy who went from this …


to this...


by solely the power of prayer.

Praise the Lord, y’all.

Crossposted at

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