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Samantha Bee Rejoices In GOP's Terrible Day One Of Impeachment Hearings

At the end of a disastrous first day for Team Trump, Samantha Bee can't wait to mock Congressional Republicans to within an inch of their lives.

Pour yourself a nice glass of expired milk! Samantha Bee is about to cut a big slice of the moldy Impeachment Cake she baked herself three years ago, she is just so dizzy with glee! And who better to celebrate the first day of public hearings on impeachment, than with our Sam Bee? The Dems were unflappable, and the Republicans were pathetic, and Ms. Bee was absolutely there to rub the GOP's bratty, punchable faces in it.

As always, projection is the name of the game with the Republicans, so "Republican ranking member and captain of the Congressional Flop Sweat team, Devin Nunes" started off by insulting the intelligence of Ambassador Bill Taylor and Asst. Deputy Secretary of State George Kent by accusing them of agreeing to "witting or unwittingly participate in a drama," and congratulating them on "passing the Democrats' star chamber auditions held in the basement of the Capitol."

Oh, sure, the GOP is never the party playing to drama. They're not playing to the TV president or anything. They didn't finagle their star yeller/fast-talker/combing-over/sexual assault enabler Gym Jordan onto the Intelligence Committee for the purposes of calling attention to themselves or creating diversions. And, as Samantha Bee pointed out, if the Democrats were the "Party of Drama"... (gestures wildly to Amb. Taylor and Mr. Kent to make her point.)

BEE: Ah, yes, if there’s one thing the Democrats are known for, it’s dazzling spectacles! Look at these two thirsty divas they cast. Clearly, they’ll do anything for the spotlight.

She gave a quick rundown of why not only these two witnesses gave incredibly damning testimony for Trump and his cronies, she also outlined how they couldn't be any less dramatic if they tried. She probably wasn't far off when she said that not only did Amb. Taylor "keep incredibly detailed documentation, including memos, texts, and a cable he sent to Mike Pompeo relaying his concerns, he also has 28 years of grocery receipts, if anyone wants those."

Don't worry. If Rep. Adam Schiff wants grocery receipts, he'll get them.


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