February 6, 2020

The House Judiciary Committee held a oversight hearing today during which FBI Director Christopher Wray was asked to testify about a number of topics. One of the most contentious, though, centered Wray's response to Inspector General Horowitz's report about the opening of probe that ended with the Mueller Report. Chief among the aggrieved it should be no surprise, was our favorite speed-yeller and molester-enabler, Gym Jordan of Ohio.

Jordan took issue with Director Wray's phrasing that the IG report contained "constructive criticism that will make us stronger." Well, that just wasn't self-flagellating enough for Jordan's taste.

JORDAN: Constructive criticism is when your grade school teacher tells you to study more for the spelling test. Constructive criticism is when one of my colleagues says, "Hey, Jim you should have asked your questions different in a hearing, that's constructive criti — here's what Mr. Horowitz said, here's what the Inspector General said, "So many basic fundamental errors were made by three separate hand-picked teams on one of the most sensitive FBI investigations that was briefed to the highest levels of the FBI."

His lecturing of/to/at Director Wray went on for more than three full minutes, at the end of which he even acknowledged that Wray had agreed the mistakes were unacceptable and they would do their best to fix their errors. Yet, he still wanted, well, no one really knew what it was Jordan wanted, and Wray basically said as much when Jordan finally came up for air.

Director Wray looked at him for a full seven seconds before turning on his microphone and asking, "I'm sorry, is there a question?"

Jordan answered, "There is."

Wray smirked, and asked, "What's the question?"

And it STILL took Jordan three more sentences to land on a question to ask him, and it was one of the dumbest questions anyone conducting oversight can ask the person they're keeping tabs on.

"Are you taking this seriously enough, Director Wray?"

Something tells me that example of constructive criticism Jordan used — about his colleagues saying he should have asked his questions differently? — that probably happens a LOT. Like, how does anyone answer that question? Part of me was dying for Wray to pop a piece of gum in his mouth and put his feet up on the desk and say, "Nope! I never take anything you traitorous GOP sh*theads say to me seriously! When's happy hour?"

Of course, that's not what he said.

DIR. WRAY: I think I have demonstrated unambiguously that I take this very seriously. At the same time that the letter that you read occurred, I communicated in no uncertain terms to my leadership team and to the entire FBI workforce that I consider the Inspector General's report described conduct that I consider unacceptable. Unacceptable and unrepresentative of who we are as an institution.

Here's some constructive criticism for Mr. Jordan. He would have learned so much more if he had simply asked, "What are you doing, specifically, to implement the constructive criticism you took from the IG report?" and actually allowed Wray to answer. You know, had a conversation. Gathered information from the people he is supposed to be overseeing. But Jordan isn't interested in gathering information. He's interesting in kissing the Orange Abomination's ass, being loud and seeming tough. Gotta kiss that ring.

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