June 23, 2020

According to Vanity Fair, Prznint Stupid’s 2020 Goat Rodeo campaign manager is a dead-man walking:

“Brad really shit the bed Saturday night. You have to remember, execution is 95% of presidential politics,” a Republican close to the White House told me over the weekend. Parscale committed a cascade of errors, from overhyping expected turnout to blaming the half-filled arena on protesters. Trump was so furious when he saw how thin the crowd was that he threatened to not go onstage, two sources briefed on the discussions told me. The sources said that Parscale, reading the tea leaves, is planning to step down. “He knows he can’t survive,” one source told me.

So if Parscale gets airlocked, who steps into the Titanic’s wheelhouse? (And there’s no mixed metaphor there!)

But one thing is for sure: The blame game has shifted into high gear. Trump insiders told me Trump was presented with five options of where to hold his rally. “The president chose Tulsa,” a source said. Sources also told me that if Parscale is forced out, he likely won’t be the only casualty of the rally fiasco. Trump is debating revoking his son-in-law Jared Kushner’s control over the campaign, sources said. As I previously reported, Trump has been frustrated with Kushner’s oversight of the campaign in light of polling that consistently shows Trump losing to Joe Biden.Another source of friction has been campaign spending and reports Trump has gotten that Parscale is making millions of dollars. “Did Jared allow this?” Trump asked advisers recently, according to a source. (Kushner declined to comment.)

Lord Damp Nut cannot You’re Fired the Fresh Prince of New Jersey, so he’s gonna go for Parscale. But it still doesn’t answer the question of who is gonna ride the Titanic all the way down.

One way to measure Kushner’s diminished influence will be found in whom Trump would choose to replace Parscale. Top candidates include 2016 veterans Miller, David Bossie, and Corey Lewandowski, all of whom Kushner successfully kept on the outer fringe of Trumpworld. “We can’t allow Jared’s stupid disagreements to get in the way,” Trump recently told advisers, according to a source briefed on the conversation.

A-Ha! So we have the 3 leading candidates! Let’s explore!

  • The Miller that they are referring to is NOT his pocket Nazi, it’s Jason Miller. He was there in the 2016 Goat Rodeo briefly as he was banging the staffers who were not his wife and got at least one of ’em pregnant.
  • David Bossie, as you might recall, was also a 2016 Goat Rodeo campaign assistant who got You’re Fired’ed when he was grifting the olds in the base (and didn’t give Lord Damp Nut the cream off the top).
  • And that leaves Corey Lewandowski, a man so dumb he probably couldn’t be the assistant manager at the local 2-screen cineplex.

Though of those three, Lewandowski may seem the frontrunner, well, VF has doubts:

Other Trump insiders are skeptical that Lewandowski would be put in charge of such a vast operation. “Corey was great when it was just Trump and an airplane. But let’s face it, he couldn’t manage a 7-Eleven,” a person close to Trump said. “The serious operation will be run by serious people.”

OK, so there’s our handicap, Scissorheads, and the betting window is open: Who is gonna be the next campaign manager?

Republished with permission from Mock Paper Scissors

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