February 5, 2021

Twice-impeached (and Putin's favorite American) former president Donald Trump has decided to withdraw from the actors' union, SAG-AFTRA. It's hard to imagine Trump ever even belonged to a union, because usually that requires payment of dues, and we know his track record on paying his bills. Apparently he did belong, though, because SAG-AFTRA was in the process of holding disciplinary hearings to revoke his membership, not due to non-payment of dues, but due to the slightly more egregious matter of criminal incitement of insurrection against the United States Congress.

Not one to be humiliated, Trump broke up with SAG-AFTRA first, declaring on very official-looking stationery that he is cancelling his membership.

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Trump's pouty SAG-AFTRA letter Credit: SAG-AFTRA

Oh, no. Whatever will SAG-AFTRA do?

They said, "Thank you."

This, of course, is correctly and widely being mocked on Twitter as the very mature, "You can't fire me! I quit!" maneuver.

Now, on a slightly different note, much ado has been made about the seal at the top of Trump's letter, but I am here to disappoint you if you think that's somehow improper or illegal. Apparently all former presidents receive a seal for their personal use, as a result of the Former Presidents Act. Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush also have official seals on their stationery and websites. So, that is just not something about which you'll be able to credibly mock him or be outraged.

But let's be real. If you cannot mine enough material from the letter itself, which contains such abysmal writing as

Which brings me to your blatant attempt at free media attention to distract from your dismal record as a union.

(not a sentence, Donald,) and

Who cares!

(Should be a question mark, Donald,) I really can't help you.

Can you help us out?

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