October 5, 2022

Someone must have told former President Donald Trump to quit acting childishly, so he took it as a challenge. There's no other explanation for the 76-year-old's current hissy fits. It feels like they're escalating, and maybe that's because the walls are closing in on the former reality show star. I know; it seems like he gets away with everything. All of this is mentally exhausting, but it feels like his base is slowly dwindling, and the twice impeached one-termer is running out of excuses.

Lumpy took to his failing platform Truth Social to lash out at the National Archives (NARA), saying they had lost information from past White House administrations to show that he is being victimized. Or persecuted.

"NARA lost a whole hard drive full of HIGHLY SENSITIVE information from the Clinton White House," Lumpy wrote. "More than 100,000 Social Security numbers and addresses, Secret Service and White House operating procedures (EXTREMELY SENSITIVE!)."

"There is no security at NARA," he added. "I want my documents back!"

Donald, we need to have a word. Our country's highly sensitive secrets belong to [checks notes] our country, the United States of America. You were paid for your services, even though you earned nothing, so now you have to give the classified documents back to the adults, mmkay? Why do you want to keep them, Donald? And why are some of the folders empty?

That said, Donald needs to go to the corner in his room with his binky and think about the bad things he has done.

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