Van Orden Practices His Stand Up Comedy Routine

Rep. Drunken Van Orden said that he is "the antithesis of a bully."
Van Orden Practices His Stand Up Comedy Routine
By Chris capper Liebenthal — November 4, 2026

Rep. Drunken Van Orden decided to try out his new stand-up comedy routine during a TV interview, y'know, just in case he needs something to fall back on after the election.

The reporter told DVO that a farmer had said that he was reluctant to vote for DVO because DVO was "a bully." That's when DVO started cracking jokes:

I've been married for 34 years to the same woman. We've raised two daughters. We have five granddaughters. Uh, I'm a Harley Davidson-driving grandpa, and I'm not a bully.

I spent over 26 years, actually, of my life risking my life for that farmer's freedom, and I knew I could have left my wife a widow and my kids without a dad, but I did it anyway to protect people. I'm the antithesis of a bully.

What Rebecca Cook's strategy is is just that. Say that Van Orden's a bully because she knows nothing about policy. Every single thing that she's saying is either an ad hominem attack or just a flat-out lie. And so I would ask you to go to that farmer and go to rebeccalies.com. So you're not bullying somebody if you're telling the truth. And if you're calling someone a liar who has repeatedly said something they've known to be untrue and put millions and millions of dollars behind it in a commercial, what else are you gonna call them?

Gee, who in the world would think that DVO is a bully?! Here are just a few times when he is definitely not being a bully:

  • When he screamed at and threatened a teenage library intern because he was upset about a Pride display
  • When he cussed out and threatened teenage Senate pages on their last night
  • When he exploded on Biden's White House intelligence staff while they gave a debriefing on Israel
  • When he physically assaulted a woman at the Republican National Convention in 2024, then tried to turn it around by playing the victim card.
  • Posting pictures of a naked man and falsely claiming it was Rep. Mark Pocan.
  • Threatening to beat up innocent people over Charlie Kirk and his drinking buddy, Whiskey Pete

So, you can clearly see, he's not a bully. Just like he's not bald and he's not a drunk.

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