Hey, First Amendment! You Better Duck

(Video courtesy of Dave.)

Well, I’ll be damned.  You knew it was gonna happen.  The Second Amendment just up and shot the First Amendment with an assault rifle, unprovoked and with what little available forethought there is in North Carolina.

Republican North Carolina state legislators have proposed allowing an official state religion in a measure that would declare the state exempt from the Constitution and court rulings.

The bill, filed Monday by two GOP lawmakers from Rowan County and backed by nine other Republicans, says each state “is sovereign” and courts cannot block a state “from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.”

“I’m Proud To Be An American North Carolinian South Baptist” will now be sung at all Duke University Blue Devils Red Angels basketball games.

Smokey Mountain National Park will become North Carolina Hills of Galilee and Hallelujah Jesus Theme Park.  The historic coastal city of Wilmington will be named The Baptismal Font of Glory and Washing Away of Sins, where genders do not mix because of all those wet tee-shirts after the dunkings.

They will still have bars and dance halls in North Carolina but they will be renamed Holy Water and Rejoicing Centers.

And all them Jesus hatin’ sumbitches who are too chicken to kill someone for stealing a teevee or lookin’ funny at your wife have to move to Virginia.

Them’s the rules, you Yankee First Amendment sumbitches.

Juanita Jean writes at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon.


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