It's fitting that this is how the gathering of the worst humans on the planet began, with a completely talentless, aggressively anti-musical singing of a terrible song.
February 28, 2021

Listen, people, I'm in a crappy mood because I had to not only sit through the Orange F*cker's speech, I had to suffer through this abomination. So, if I have to suffer, so do you.

I already hate our national anthem. It's a horrible song, and even talented people have a hard time singing it well, but after watching this pathetic C-list mannequin reject vomit out the thing, I have a lot of questions. Like, why don't I get paid more? Why don't Republicans understand music? Will white people ever be not terrible?

The comments on the YouTube video were emblematic of my own disgusted confusion at what the hell I was forcing myself to endure.

- "Singing in the key of Q"
- "Well, those were certainly all notes." (My response: "You sure about that?")
- "this is what happens when you defund the arts"
- "Republicans: "All keys matter""
- "Henceforth to be known as the Star Mangled Banner."
- "The key of F# major needs a hug after this..."

UPDATE:

Someone transposed it, in case you'd like to replicate it for someone you hate.

screen_shot_2021-03-01_at_3.08.51_pm

UPDATE 2:

We found the missing pianist!

Open Thread below.

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