Jen Psaki must feel like a pre-school teacher, with all the rudimentary government information she must explain to these "reporters."
August 6, 2021

Today's lesson in toddler wrangling comes via Newsmax's Emerald Robinson.

In Jen Psaki's press briefing, Robinson framed her rambling question thusly: "Secretary Cardona yesterday, he mentioned, with Gov. DeSantis, he was concerned with the EO he did regarding the public schools on masks, and he said, 'We know what works.' But, one of the president's top COVID advisers, Michael Osterholm, just, this, recently --" at which Psaki interjected to point out that Osterholm is not a CURRENT adviser to Pres. Joe Biden.

Robinson couldn't be bothered to cede that point.

"But WAS, so, NOTABLE, right?"

Okay, sweetie.

She went on. And on.

"He said, in a television interview this week with regards to mask-wearing, specifically the cloth masks like so many of us are wearing here, and kids are wearing in school, right? He said, "The scientific community has been doing a disservice to the public on face coverings.' He said that cloth masks like these 'have very limited impact on the amount of virus that you inhale or you exhale out.' And he also said that he was really disappointed in his colleagues for not making that more clear to the public. And that's sort of in line with the study that Gov. DeSantis is citing as the basis for his executive order. How do you respond to that?"

Now, as usual, it's time for me to point out that there is a very good reason Psaki is the Press Secretary and I am not. She is a nicer person, and much more professional, where as I am a clinically diagnosed chronic potty-mouth. *I* would have said, "Listen, Esmerelda. If your attention span was greater than a gnat's, you'd know that Osterholm's point was that cloth masks aren't ENOUGH to protect against the Delta variant, and don't protect nearly as well as better masks, like KN-95s or N-95s. He even said that masks are worn to protect unvaccinated people, and who's unvaccinated? Children under 12 in school! Who's banning mask mandates? Gov. DeSantis! Who's a dipsh*t? You are! Even Fox News managed to get this headline right, noting Osterhelm was Biden's FORMER adviser! Can we be more like Fox News, Escargot? Can we? Who's a good parrot? Who's a good parrot?" At this point I would be skipping around the stage in a circle and clapping, then I'd be fired.

Here is how consummate professional badass, Jen Psaki responded.

"I think you're confusing a few things, there, but let me say first that Osterholm is not an adviser to the president, to the administration, to the White House. He's a private citizen, a public health expert, but a lot of public health experts are out there speaking, and good for them," Psaki said, emphasizing again that he is not a White House source.

"I will say that we will continue to rely on the advice of medical experts in the federal government on what kind of masks we all should wear, on what kind of masks kids should wear, and if they change that advice, then the Department of Education will be working with schools to make sure that's implemented as a mitigation measure." she continued.

"The issue we have taken with the guidance of Gov. DeSantis, which, of course, he's fundraising off of, I think we should note, is that he is preventing schools, and teachers, and others from protecting themselves and the students in their classroom. And as a mother myself, that is concerning, and I'm sure it's concerning to mothers in Florida."

Not content to have wasted two minutes of press briefing time, Enchilada decided she was going to worm her way into the next reporter's time. Despite the number of times Psaki told her she needed to move on, Empirical Warlord kept trying to ask another question. Finally, Psaki told her, "You had a very long question. Emerald, we're going to continue," before calling on the next reporter for the fifth time.

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