April 14, 2021

*don't make fun of his hair don't make fun of his hair don't make fun of his hair*

A reporter who clearly cuts his own hair (dammit, Aliza) somehow got a job at Fox and managed to get himself into the White House press pool to serve himself up as a human sacrifice to our lord and savior Press Secretary Jen Psaki. Our daily Psaki bombs have begun to act as vitamins for our national psyche, and we appreciate this bozo's willingness to tee this one up for us.

This feckless dude who, if he doesn't cut his own hair, perhaps got a Groupon for Tucker Carlson's barber, (bad Aliza, BAD ALIZA) stumbled so clumsily through his amateurish question, one almost feels sorry for him until they remember who pays his salary.

"Utility companies did, maybe, arguably, as partly for show, but they did announce, you know, rate decreases after the 27 tax law passed and attributed it to the tax law, you know..." said our man of self-inflicted bangs cut in very dim lighting. (NOW you're just being mean) But he did say 27 when he meant 2017. That wasn't a typo.

Psaki, whose hair is fabulous, by the way, asked, "Is there some data that you're expecting from economists suggesting that will be the case? Or are you just getting ahead of what might happen when the bill passes?"

Fox's David Schwimmer Look-Alike Contest Third Place Winner (Okay, THAT one's a stretch, girlie) attempted to clarify, "I mean, I'm just getting ahead of that, like, there were those announcements. You said, like, they, they didn't have the intended effects, but utility companies did say, hey, you know, we can pass on this lower rate to consumers through their utility bills."

"And have utility companies said, I have not seen it if they have, that they would raise the cost if this bill passed to invest in infrastructure and get lead out of pipes to make sure there's clean drinking water and create millions of jobs?" Psaki graciously asked, giving him one more chance to try to justify his journalistic existence, such as it is.

"Not aware of any specific announcements, but I'm just saying that was one of the results after the 2017..."

Okay, Zippy, first of all, that's not even true. Second of all, your time was up according your host, who interrupted to say, "Well, then I don't think we have to anticipate it as an issue, quite yet."

Honestly, Supercuts would be an upgrade. And this time I'm not talking about where he gets a haircut. I'm talking about where he might get a job.

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