September 9, 2022

Well, at least the world’s lyingest Senate candidate wasn’t claiming to be a cow or a bull. But Walker’s little homily was just about as nonsensical as his claim to be a special deputy sheriff or a former FBI agent who was stopped from murdering someone by the Jesus bumper sticker on the person’s truck.

Walker is a completely unqualified former football player who decided to run for a Georgia senate seat after living in Texas for at least a decade, in order to unseat U.S. Sen. Raphael Warnock. But he preached that the rest of us should be happy with what we have now and work together, as illustrated by a “little story I heard one time.”

The story began with a bull in a field with six cows, three of which were expecting calves. But the bull “kept his nose up against this fence,” looking at three other cows, up on a hillside.

Walker continued, “Not worried about what he got now, the grass is as tall as his knees, all he had to do is eat grass.” But the bull was so “worried about something else” that one day, he “measured that fence up, and he said, ‘You know what? I think I can jump this fence and get over there to those other cows.’ Not worried about what he got now.”

The bull jumped over the fence, Walker said, “and his belly got all cut up and stuff” but he was excited to be on the other side of the fence with the cows. But when he got closer, “He realized they were bulls, too.”

The crowd he was speaking to, broke into laughter, presumably with appreciation of the tale.

“The reason I tell you that, don’t think something is better somewhere else,” Texan Walker said. “This is a good place, and the way we make it better is by coming together.”

Maybe he should stick to lying about a past in law enforcement.

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