July 24, 2023

[This post may reveal some plot spoilers for The Barbie Movie.]

Like all good movie trailers, the trailer above doesn't give away the actual plot of Barbie.

According to the trailer, Barbie and Ken leave BarbieLand and go to "the real world" where hijinks ensue.

And yet when conservatives have gone to see "The Barbie Movie," most notably infamous clout chaser Ben Shapiro, their reaction is one of violent revulsion. Ben set fire to some Barbies.

So you don't have to watch Ben Shapiro, I'll explain the freakout. I took two of my adult children to see Barbie on Sunday. Youngest child's first words as the closing credits rolled? "No wonder Ben Shapiro hated it."

It's an unapologetically political, feminist movie.

In this movie, The Supreme Court is all women. The President is a Black woman, who gives a speech against Citizens United (no, really). This is not so much BarbieLand, as it is a utopian feminist matriarchy novel. Think Herland, World Without Men, the island of Themyscira in Wonder Woman, but with men like Ken, whose entire existence depends on the Barbie gaze.

Whoa.

And since the following part of the script has made it into the pages of the LA Times, I'll repeat it here. This is spoken by a non-Barbie human mom, Gloria, (played in the movie by America Ferrera). It's addressed to Barbie, and all of us:

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.

The movie is doing quite well, and Ben Shapiro helped.

This theme, combined with the ending of the movie, and particularly the last line? That last line is one of the most subversive endings I've seen in a movie, ever. It was bound to give the Ben Shapiros a major conniption.

I recommend you see it. Wearing pink is optional, and Ben Shapiro is beautiful when he's mad.

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