An American man named Jeremiah Raber spent about $100,000 of his own money to create something every man needs, a device that can deflect bullets from 9mm and .22 caliber handguns.

“It is a bullet resistant groin protection device,” Raber said. “It is the world’s strongest cup.”

Because we don’t need no damn bulletproof helmet. We need this.

And he named it …. of course … Armored Nutshellz.

I know that you did not want to know that but I just had to tell you. It’s my job.

Jeremiah went on teevee in Missouri and “shot 9mm rounds into an athletic cup filled with red dye to prove that men’s groins were susceptible to bullets without additional armor.” Because we would not have known that without all the red dye vividly spattering everywhere. It was like one of those science experiments. Oh Look! Bullets can pierce humans everywhere. I imagine even on their feet.

To prove the product worked, Raber fired several rounds from 9mm and .22 caliber handguns at a Nutshellz protector. Each time, the bullet did little more than dent the groin shield.

I’m still waiting for someone to volunteer to test it live.

Louie Gohmert could do this to prove his mettle. I think this also looks like a job for SuperRick Perry. He doesn’t seem to be using his much anyway.

Double dog dare.

You gotta love this country, where nobody has ever lost a dime protecting what is valuable.

Juanita Jean blogs at the World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.