October 17, 2018

Editor's Note: This is a thing that really happened because the Today Show thought it was a good idea to give a national platform to neo-Nazis. Maybe next time they'll rethink that idea.

It really *IS* Springtime for Hitler, apparently! A White Nationalist group called Identity Evropa is coming to a college campus near you, if it is not already there! Don't worry, you won't be able to easily identify them, because they look just like you! Well, maybe not like ALL of you *cough* and you won't find them technically everywhere, because they're being all strategic and mostly joining Young Republicans clubs on campuses.

Their goal is to be all covert-like and James Bond-y and take over the Republican party in this suuuuuuper secret way, which is of course, WHY when you are trying to be discreet with a capital "DDDDDDD" you do an interview on National Television with a famous reporter named Peter Alexander on a famous Cable News Station called MSNBC where clips of the interview will be played on many many shows before the full interview is aired and articles like THIS ONE will be printed but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH don't tell anyone we're coming to take over your Republican party.

Okay, I joke only because I value my laptop and my window and my sanity. But the truth is, this was an interview wherein Patrick Casey, leader of Identity Evropa, (notice how it's spelled with a "v" but it's pronounced "Europa" - how Greco-Roman of them!) told Peter Alexander that one must be of white, European, non-Jewish heritage to join. When Alexander asked him how that wasn't racist, he said with a smirk, "We're trying to move beyond the paradigm that includes buzzwords like 'racist.'"

Got that, kids? "Racist" is a buzzword, not the actual definition of something that truly IS; not something that has defined our culture for centuries. Alexander asked him if the core values of their group aren't racist, what are they? Casey answered, "Identitarian."

i. dent. i. tar. i. an. I just typed that with my eyes closed because I cannot with this bullshit any longer. Now, mind you, these same @ssholes will claim that Kwanzaa is a made-up holiday, but "Identitarian" is TOTALLY a legit thing. Okay, I used up all my cursing allowances in this paragraph, so I have to move on.

Casey the "Identitarian" — not at all to be confused with Conan the Barbarian — and his group are being super discreet about their nationalist ideas, making an effort to "blend in," wearing Lands End clothing and not having any tattoos, and DEFINITELY not dating anyone who is not white or Christian. Peter Alexander asked, somewhat incredulously, "Why the need for discretion if you think your ideas will be widely accepted?" He answered that he knows ideas can be controversial at first, even though they are valid.

Here's the thing, Patrick, can I call you Patrick? These ideas aren't valid, and they aren't even "at first." I'm not sure if you've heard of things like American slavery, Jim Crow, Segregation, Eugenics, The Holocaust, Ethnic Cleansing, Rwanda, Apartheid, but your ideas about ethnic purity are not exactly original, and they're not exactly new to the Republican party you're trying to "inflitrate" and "take over." Allow me to introduce you to Stephen Bannon, Stephen Miller, Sebastian Gorka, Laura Ingraham, Steve King (god, why are so many of them named Steve?), Pat Robertson, Tucker Carlson, Ann Coulter, and Donald Trump for starters.

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