March 5, 2019

There's an adorable video circulating from this past weekend of some innocent high school kids from Spain Park High School just having a sweet get-together and talking about their hopes and dreams for the future, and how they feel about their peers. It is so heartwarming, it's practically a Norman Rockwell painting come to life before our very eyes.

Here is some of the dialogue:

Cherubbish White Boy: Without the Holocaust, what would the world be like?

Totally Innocent White Girl: We would have white people, still! All of the n*ggers would (sadly, unintelligable)

Some Other Girl Who Is In No Way Racist Because She Has a Black Friend: Jews would run the world!

Cherubbish White Boy and Probably Future U.S. Senator: F*ck Jews! F*ck N*ggers!

Girl Who Will Definitely One Day Demand To See The Manager, If She Has Not Already: Jews are fine, because they're white!

Boy Who Has Great Potential To Turn Away Job Applicants Based On Their Names: I think Jews would be running the world right now.

Girl Who Will Call Police On A Black Person For Smiling While Looking At His Phone, Because Surely That Is A Sign He Is Making Fun Of Her And That Makes Her Uncomfortable, and Therefore Constitutes Harassment and Definitely Reverse Racism Because THAT is a Thing That Exists: Jews are FINE, it's just N*GGERS we have to get rid of...

It goes on like that, with lots more racial slurs and talk of Jews, with a soupçon of Holocaust denial thrown in to spice things up. It gets even more adorable when they determine the best course of action is to round both groups up into concentration camps and, can you guess? One suggests bombing them, but then a more gentler Nazi teen says, Nah, let 'em just die out. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I mean, could Alabama be any more of a parody of itself? Sigh. The fathers of one of the girls did apologize, and so did the girl. But he owns a big car dealership, so he stands to lose a lot of business from this crappy publicity. And call me cynical, but I'm just not putting any stock into apologies from people who have this in them to begin with.

These kids are from Spain Park High School, in the Hoover City school system, which is a suburb south of Birmingham. The party took place in a private residence, over the weekend, so allegedly the school's options for imposing consequences are limited. In the meantime, the district claims it's looking into what measures they can take to deal with it. Parents in the Hoover City School District received the following email on Monday:

We have been made aware of a recently posted video that features Hoover School System students who appear to be engaged in disturbing conduct. The activity apparently took place this past weekend at a private residence. Although it was not part of any school function, the conduct in question is in direct conflict with our school system’s values and its mission. Our school administrators are carefully investigating the situation in order to assess our options under the Code of Student Conduct. In the meantime, the Hoover school community may be assured that the Board, together with its administrative and instructional staff, remains steadfastly committed to maintaining and strengthening a school culture that encourages and embraces diversity, inclusiveness, and tolerance.

My money is on a stern talking to, rather than Chad and Becky losing scholarships or not being able to play in the lacrosse championship. I mean, we wouldn't want to impact their futures, amirite?

Video is posted below, if you have the stomach for it.

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