July 23, 2020

Pretty stunning stuff. And the writer is correct. A textbook example of white male victimhood, right on the floor of the House of Representatives.

Source: Rafi Schwartz/Mic.com

There's a strong case to be made that 65-year-old Florida Republican Rep. Ted Yoho is the single most flexible person in the whole of Washington, D.C. Less than 24 hours after reportedly calling New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D) a "fucking bitch" during a brief argument outside the Capitol Building, Yoho somehow managed to contort an ostensible apology to a colleague into a full-throated defense of his own fragile victimhood.

"I stand before you to address the strife I injected into the already contentious Congress," a rushed, seemingly uncomfortable Yoho began, speaking Wednesday to a nearly empty House chamber. "I rise today to apologize for the abrupt manner of the conversation I had with my colleague from New York."

"It is true that we disagree on policies and visions for America but that does not mean we should be disrespectful," he continued in what was truly a decent start to what should have been an extremely straightforward mea culpa. But instead, Yoho then spent the next few minutes offering excuses, indulging in some self-pity, and thumping his own chest in a caricatured display of martyrdom.

First up, the non-apology, which began with the trite and largely meaningless caveat that being "married for 45 years with two daughters" made him "very cognizant of my language." Yoho denied that he had called Ocasio-Cortez a "fucking bitch," as was reported, and said instead that "the offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleagues. If they were construed that way, I apologize for the misunderstanding."

It's not entirely clear what Yoho meant with that mealy-mouthed statement. Our best guess: "I never said those things, and anyway, I'm sorry if you heard me say those things, or whatever."

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