December 5, 2020

Everyone, meet Mellissa Carone. Remember that banana pants lady with the beehive and slurred speech from Thursday's hearing in Michigan? Well, do we have an update for you!

It looks like Rudy's favorite star witness is a criminal who just got off probation for a pretty nasty crime — she sent her boyfriend's ex-wife videos of them having sex. Deadline reports that obscenity and computer crime charges were filed against Carone following a" harassment campaign" she waged against her boyfriend's 42-year-old ex-wife in 2018 and 2019. She pleaded down to disorderly conduct.

Reports are that between November 2018 and September 2019, the victim received three videos from unknown email addresses showing Carone and her boyfriend having sex. Police traced the IP address to Carone, who ironically claimed during the Michigan hearing to be some sort of IT specialist -- who apparently doesn't know how to use a VPN. Oh, and this genius thought that getting a new router and switching service providers would definitely solve all the problems. Not.

IT Specialist and Sober Star Witness Carone served one year of probation. Ironically, it ended right before she was brought on to do temp work at Detroit's TCF Center during the November election.

I, for one, cannot wait to see Cecily Strong play Carone on SNL, although I am not sure anyone could do this crazy train justice.

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