Mike Pence Finds Spine, Loses Spine
Credit: Screenshot
June 27, 2021

When last we saw the Walking Termite Buffet, Mike Pence was delicately meeping that he and Hair Füror would never see eye-to-eye on the Stupid Coup of January 6, acting like one would if one’s partner tried to trump an ace or something. No big deal, was the reaction from the VP, who the prznint tried to have drawn and quartered by his mouth-breathers in the Capitol building, live on CSPAN no less. No hard feelings, was the message.

So imagine our surprise when somehow or another Pence managed to find some vestigial remainder of his spine and declared for all the world to hear that:

“I will always be proud that we did our part on that tragic day to reconvene the Congress and fulfilled our duty under the Constitution and the laws of the United States. The truth is, there is almost no idea more un-American than the notion that any one person could choose the American president.”

And then upon realizing what he said, Pence leaped back in his hole (not a nickname for Mother) and we will now have 6 more weeks of obsequious 2024 Goat Rodeo toadying:

He spent much of his speech reciting what he said were Mr. Trump’s accomplishments on many issues, including free trade, border security and relations with China. “President Trump changed the national consensus on China,” he said. Mr. Pence also compared Mr. Trump to former President Ronald Reagan.
“He too disrupted the status quo,” Mr. Pence said. “He challenged the establishment. He invigorated our movement and set a bold new course for America.”

Keep looking for that spine, Bubbles. Sooner or later, it might come in handy.

Published with permission from Mock Paper Scissors.

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