It's hard to transcribe Cauvin's surreal stream of consciousness as he welcomes his followers on Truth Social to unbox "my very special unclassified stuff."
"What's going on with this radical left? Attorney General Magic Johnson is, he pretends that he's very calm and very 'oh look at me with my glasses and I speak very slowly, I'm no threat' is the greatest threat to our country I think that's ever been because he's trying to take down your president, so when they raided Mar-A-Lago, like nothing we've ever seen in this country," he said.
"They took many boxes they took three of my 17 passports. They took a driver's license, they took some of the tasteful security camera nudes that I had made of Ivanka but they didn't get everything. So I still have a box of very powerful Trump classified materials. They belong to me as you can see from the box, clearly labeled 'totally my stuff.' "
