OK, what do you do when your wife comes home late at night unexpectedly, only to find you in the childrens playroom with two prostitutes, whereupon she begins beating on your dumb ass with a Guitar Hero controller and punching at you? Call the cops of course, and have her arrested! is the obvious answer.
At least that's what you if you're a former GOP Chairman in Illinois.
This story is from last week but is too good/awful to pass up.
According to the police report, Eni Skoien became enraged and attacked her husband early Sunday morning when she discovered him with two prostitutes.
The police report said Gary Skoien acknowledged to authorities that the women were prostitutes. But he later denied that and tried unsuccessfully to have the report changed.
Barrington-Inverness Police Chief Jeff Lawler reiterated Friday that the department stands by the report.
Furthermore, the department is eager to speak with the women, not to build a prostitution case but in their role as witnesses in the domestic battery case against Eni Skoien. The women had left the home by the time police arrived.
"Ordinarily, our victims supply us with the names of witnesses," Lawler said.
A prostitution case is unlikely, in any event, unless a police officer actually witnesses a solicitation of sex for money, Lawler added. Both women had left the premises before police arrived Sunday.
According to the report, 36-year-old Eni Skoien came home about 1:15 a.m. Sunday and, after discovering the women in the home, struck Gary Skoien, 55, with a closed fist and several times with a toy guitar. The beating left him bloodied, police said.
Charged with misdemeanor domestic battery, Eni Skoien is expected in court Thursday, March 19, in Rolling Meadows.
Earlier this week, Gary Skoien said he and his wife have been estranged and living in separate parts of the home they share with their three children, ages 5, 7 and 8.
Following Sunday's incident, Gary Skoien petitioned for and received an order of protection barring his wife from their home and from contacting him or their children for 21 days.
Skoien is no stranger to, ahem, controversy:
Allies of Mayor Daley blasted Skoien four years ago when he offered a $10,000 “bounty” four years ago for information that would lead to Daley’s conviction on corruption charges.
The remark got Skoien fired from his real estate job, cost him a seat on the Metra board and prompted calls for his ouster as party chairman, He survived a re-election vote, serving from 2004-2007 as chairman of the GOP, which has not elected a member countywide in 17 years.
Current Republican Party Chairman Lee Roupas said, “It’s an extremely disappointing and unfortunate situation, if the allegations prove to be true.”
Skoien was an aide to former Gov. Jim Thompson and serves as Palatine Township Republican Committeeman.