April 22, 2016

Mamas, please rush right out and get some toddler-size body armor for your little darlings, because the NRA has decided the best way to avoid getting shot by some lunatic (or responsible gun owner) is to wear body armor.

Your little darling will look adorbs in a size 4T bulletproof vest. I'll bet you can even find one with Hello Kitty on it.

This is the solution your favorite NRA shill Colion Noir suggests to those of us who object to having our bodies penetrated with pieces of lead flying at lightning speed toward us. In a weird and bizarre propaganda film online video, Noir explains:

NOIR: Look, if you don’t like guns and want nothing to do with them, you have every right to make less than smart decisions with your life, but I can’t think of a more passive way to protect yourself from being shot than owning body armor. I’m not saying you have to channel your inner 50 Cent and wear a vest general purpose. But have armor in your home or bag, you have nothing to lose. You may not like guns or me for liking guns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about your safety.

Yes. Well, what about the safety of Junior, who might reach into a bag without his vest and helmet on and shoot himself or a friend? Like I said, there's probably a HUGE market for Hello Kitty body armor for the safe and savvy toddler.


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