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Stephen Miller's Girlfriend Keeps Getting Promoted

Wait, Stephen Miller has a....

Two Hearts Beat As One...

No, despite his clearly inhuman appearance, Stephen Miller, doesn’t have a second heart (I doubt he has even one, or if he does it’s in a jar in the fridge), but he might have a girlfriend.

Mike Pence’s office just poached Waldman from Arizona senator Martha McSally’s office, and she’s now the V.P.’s press secretary, according to NBC.

Imagine the kind of a woman that dominatrix Mother Pence would allow her Worm, Mike, to hire, and who would look at Prznint Stupid’s incel pocket Nazi, and agree to the dark and arcane mating rituals of his species? The mind boggles, and Wes Anderson shudders.

He might end up with that second heart in a jar.

Republished with permission from Mock Paper Scissors

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